parlez vous victoire?

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Ba

'Ba' - a physical or virtual collaborative space, where participants feel safe and exchange insights.

Where I'm At

What: BCom (hons) INF780 Research Paper
Title:Measuring Employee Performance In A Knowledge Organisation Through A Balanced Scorecard Approach: A Case Study
Status: Hovering on the brink of extinction

Ok maybe it's not that bad, but it's pretty bad... I have received some amazing, and unexpected, help, tips, and insights from friends... and now I just need to get the thing out there. Problem is that I have to submit a sufficiently progressed paper by Tuesday, 1 Nov, for me to be able to actually hand in the final on 1 Dec. Problem. I have 1 day and 2 evenings for this. I hate myself right now, for my damned procrastination, and not thinking about what I'm doing, I should've finished this paper a long time ago. I think I'm going to go kick myself... and then continue frantically writing, and arranging my thoughts out onto paper.

...

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

my life according to dilbert...


I was wondering where all the sticky notes on my desktop had disappeared to...

Sunday, October 23, 2005

organising

so i'm back at the drawing board regarding my productivity... i'm just not that into my research paper any more! :( anyways, i remembered 43folders and there i read about the printable ceo... which led me to pocketmod... i don't know if i actually got anywhere, but i got to read a bit about productivity, and organising myself, and hopefully my head is in the right place now, because i don't have anymore time to MESS AROUND! *sigh*

check out those sites, btw, awesome idea this... a cheap pda piece of paper... i have been considering a pda... i still dig the feeling of having stuff captured electronically... i'm a geek at heart, even though i can't really techno-babble! speaking of pda's anyone (is there anyone out there?) got any ideas of a small, cool, cheapish, pda toy? i was thinking it might be a bonus if i can combine it with my cell phone... but i don't know. i just tend to enjoy things more, with the more functionality i can squeeze out of them! go figure...

would be cool if the ipod was an ipod, organiser, notes, camera, music, phone... :) should i stop?

R.I.P.

Today I cancelled the NuNu Web Hosting server... ending a short lived, and highly unproductive, business venture. It’s a sad loss... mostly because of the unrealised opportunities and dreams. At the same time it is a relief. I have transferred to a much more affordable host for my blog, and should have victoire.za.net up and running as soon as I have some time to figure out how to set up the site! A great learning opportunity! So here’s to lessons learnt, experience gained, and being the wiser for it!

dodgy...



this photo is one of the dodgiest of me yet! it was taken at the crater cruise, just as i was starting, and i was surprised by the photographer. how can so many of the other girls look downright cute in their gear... and i end up looking dodgy? maybe i wasn’t cut out to be a mountain biker... ah well... who really cares? i’m not out there to look cute, just to have fun... although i wouldn’t complain if i did...

why am i...

It is a beautifully blustery day, with a hint of chill in the wind. It’s been a fine weekend for writing my paper, but I cannot concentrate... cannot focus on the “formal performance appraisal system”... urgh... blech... I have no interest in this paper... where did the passion and excitement go? I think it’s because I feel so alone in the world right now. I’d rather be participating in life, right here, right now... although I have discovered through my hours of introspection, that that’s half my problem... too impulsive, got to have it now, got to do it now. Got to watch the leafy billowing outside my window... I hate loneliness... the feeling of loneliness. But I have to get used to it, have to learn how to deal with it. I mean this is probably why I’ve jumped recklessly into relationships with guys that are wrong for me... I don’t want to be alone. And because of that, I have to be alone. I must learn to wait, be patient. Does any of this make sense? Mmmm... now would be the moment to write yet another dark and brooding poem. Why am I... here. It is my fault though. I could’ve gone through this process years ago. I should’ve, I knew I should’ve, but the pain of the moment was too great for me to look towards the joys in the future... Perhaps because I was such a wistful child, letting life pass me by, I so much more want to grab it by its horns now... don’t let the opportunity pass you by, remember all you could’ve experienced when you were younger, but didn’t because you were living in your dream world... blah. All I can say is that life has not turned out the way I dreamed... I want to create new ones.

Monday, October 10, 2005

chocolate birthday cake

what a day…

it is a monday

i got to check out three beautiful asses on my way to work

of the donkey variety, that is… had you thinking there, didn’t i? :)

i left home later than usual, 5:55 or something, and thus took the short cut, circumventing ½ an hour’s worth of traffic by simply enduring a rutted dirt road… well perhaps not simple… i hate to think of the effects those bumps have on my car! and thus got to observe these lovely docile creatures as i bounced and juddered along the road.

i was in a naughty mood all day long…

i worked instead.

i had chocolate birthday cake.

it was sweltering on the way home… 34 degrees celsius. it started to rain, a strange rain, with the dark clouds above, but blue sky ahead, and the sun shining brightly… a monkey’s wedding… lovely to get some rain. and then it stopped. the city streets were wet with rain as i drove in, but soon dried up. and i saw the most horrendous site. a red mx5, with a mullet-toting cellphone-speaking neanderthal. ok, he wasn’t that big. but his mullet… the mullet! oh the horror! he had rather normal short hair, up to the base, where a horizontal line of hair just grew down… it grew and grew… and grew… if mullets were in fashion, he would be da bomb! i think i am still in shock.

i learnt a new word at work today. horizontical. 90 degrees from vertical. i should not mock afrikaans people, i know my afrikaans is horrendous. it took some stifling and a secret smile, all the same. you just can’t laugh at people who are helping you out on your project by explaining the same thing for the hundredth time to yet another analyst.

and i worked on my research paper again today. i am finally making progress! hurrah!

it rained as i was working. so divine sitting here, hearing the wind rushing in the trees. with the rain pattering, falling.

i have had songs from the october sl mag’s free cd running around my head all day… I listened to it loud on the way to work. really like it. “don’t let the sun. be the one. to change you baby...” *clap clap clap* something like that. and yes you do have to hear it to understand. it's from the magic numbers’ song, forever lost. the other song that i’m really into is the parlotones’ beautiful. “you deserve to be adored”. besides being a beautiful song, no *poits* for guessing why i think it’s relevant ;) heheheh…

my blog has become an avalanche. i can’t stop. i think i’m addicted. it does allow for a welcome reprieve from the everyday though. and all the work.

i nearly forgot. i am cycling a 50km race on sunday. in parys. it’s the crater cruise, and a rather popular event. i’m not going for all the festivities, but i have heard of them building a small “paris” complete with miniature eiffel tower! if i can’t do paris, why not parys... heheheh...

the spanish film festival is another point on my agenda this week. i get to experience the wonders of spain! :)

i can’t wait till i do go travelling one day. there is so much i’d like to see and experience. *sigh* all in good time.

war of the blogs...

War is not the answer, for only love can conquer hate...

*sigh*


stopdawaryo
images from http://www.peace-not-war.org/

i'm not one for war... i'm more of the "pansy" variety! :D heheheh...

so where to now? or should the question be where to shoot? or where is raed? or where is this blog going?

Saturday, October 08, 2005

back to being...

LOL... talk about being indecisive!
so i only noticed now that daan had linked to the post i was supposed to have revoked! *sigh* and i'm feeling "nice" today, so it goes back!

in the meantime i am steadily working on my research paper, but my blog haunts me. i have so many ideas! so much i want to do! they've been sitting dormant in the back of my head since may, which is when i last blogged on the old blog... the one i was supposed to resurrect here!

time... all in good time...

time to be...

AAAAAHHH! my cycling buddies[1] have cancelled our g[2] nature reserve ride tomorrow… or rather postponed it! i was really looking forward to it, even though it would take me away from my paper[3] for an uncomfortable amount of time. perhaps better so, i am getting into a groove with the writing of it, sort of working out how to go about things… developing method in the mad mad madness!

seems that time plays a major part in my life right now… “i don’t have time to…”, “i need time to…” time time time… the rolling stones song comes to mind, but is time really on my side?

speaking of time, i have been single for 2 weeks now... instead of inducing the feeling of panic, i feel... anchored. don’t get me wrong... i have been a rollercoaster of emotions most days... but deep down, i feel contented. i like the word single. i like the rolling of it on my tongue. i like that i can describe myself as such. despite the fact that i am 27 and a bit. heaven forbid.

single.

i am single.

single.

it sounds good.

i was browsing doi when i noticed the dating blog south africa ad. so i clicked on it. and i searched the quick search. and i was horrified by what’s out there. is this really what i have to choose from?[4] ok, it’s not all that bad, i think i saw about 2 or 3 guys i might actually consider talking to if i had to meet them somewhere (can’t say so for the rest... and they displayed 100 guys! run victoire run!), and who says that the 2 or 3 are decent blokes? a friend of mine keeps reminding me i attract freaks... and i do... where do they all come from? why can’t just plain normal nice interesting sweet etc. guys be drawn to me. but instead i am the living magnetizing the undead[5]! perhaps i exaggerate. that is certainly how i have felt recently. i digress... i had no urge to join the site. not for now at least, and considering the choice hopefully not ever. it is comforting to know that i am comfortable with being single. it’s new for me. i feel like a new chapter has opened in my life (as cheesy as it sounds), with endless possibilities reaching out! i feel so independent. i feel like the world is my oyster, or rather calamari... i hate oysters... i am looking forward to discovering me.

ok... that just killed “conversation”... time to go to bed anyways...



[1] you should know that i mountain bike. i have been doing so since march this year, and although i have greatly improved since my first attempts, i still consider myself a newbie. i met “my cycling buddies” at the urban assault mtb xc (cross country) race starting line… and the rest of the story will be finished some other time…

[2] i’ve decided to leave out actual names of places due to my inherent paranoia about being stalked or worse yet, bumping into someone who reads my blog… you never know who’s on the other side of the computer screen… i might like it! :p

[3] i am writing an honours paper at the moment… its draft is due 1 nov, and the final 1 dec… and i am a master procrastinator! so… you don’t need to feel too sorry for me, i am sorry enough for myself as it is! *sniff* it just means that i get to miss out on lots of fun until i have finished, and have to choose the little fun i do enjoy very carefully…

[4] we will ignore the fact that i am referring to real living guys as if they are objects for the moment

[5] if you click on “enter the official site” you’ll see me... i’m the one with the gas mask :D heheheheh...

Friday, October 07, 2005

back to boring...

i've decided to revoke last night's post till further notice... i don't like mambo anymore, and want to publish via blogger.com, just need to figure out my ftp settings!

check it out so long at http://smokingtt.blogspot.com/ so long if you like... will post there till i can post at my domain again...

i am terribly indecisive!

Thursday, October 06, 2005

a death not in vain...

The Hattori Hanzo gleams with a pale yellow hue as it reflects her silhoutte in the moonlit doorway... today she will kill...

daan!

ok maybe that kill bill reference is ultra corn syrupy, but you're here, and you're still reading, and kill bill is one of my fav movies... so deal with it. *sigh* and instead of being asleep or frantically writing up my research paper, I am writing up my first blog entry on my new site. well... it's not that new... but that's all in the semantics...

and why not keep the unique non-blog blog, but instead blog blogs? because there is no time like the present, and i've been wanting to do this for a while... and... i have been embarassed into action! *blush*

and that's the start of the legend of victoire's bloody revenge...

warisdeclared