parlez vous victoire?

Saturday, October 08, 2005

time to be...

AAAAAHHH! my cycling buddies[1] have cancelled our g[2] nature reserve ride tomorrow… or rather postponed it! i was really looking forward to it, even though it would take me away from my paper[3] for an uncomfortable amount of time. perhaps better so, i am getting into a groove with the writing of it, sort of working out how to go about things… developing method in the mad mad madness!

seems that time plays a major part in my life right now… “i don’t have time to…”, “i need time to…” time time time… the rolling stones song comes to mind, but is time really on my side?

speaking of time, i have been single for 2 weeks now... instead of inducing the feeling of panic, i feel... anchored. don’t get me wrong... i have been a rollercoaster of emotions most days... but deep down, i feel contented. i like the word single. i like the rolling of it on my tongue. i like that i can describe myself as such. despite the fact that i am 27 and a bit. heaven forbid.

single.

i am single.

single.

it sounds good.

i was browsing doi when i noticed the dating blog south africa ad. so i clicked on it. and i searched the quick search. and i was horrified by what’s out there. is this really what i have to choose from?[4] ok, it’s not all that bad, i think i saw about 2 or 3 guys i might actually consider talking to if i had to meet them somewhere (can’t say so for the rest... and they displayed 100 guys! run victoire run!), and who says that the 2 or 3 are decent blokes? a friend of mine keeps reminding me i attract freaks... and i do... where do they all come from? why can’t just plain normal nice interesting sweet etc. guys be drawn to me. but instead i am the living magnetizing the undead[5]! perhaps i exaggerate. that is certainly how i have felt recently. i digress... i had no urge to join the site. not for now at least, and considering the choice hopefully not ever. it is comforting to know that i am comfortable with being single. it’s new for me. i feel like a new chapter has opened in my life (as cheesy as it sounds), with endless possibilities reaching out! i feel so independent. i feel like the world is my oyster, or rather calamari... i hate oysters... i am looking forward to discovering me.

ok... that just killed “conversation”... time to go to bed anyways...



[1] you should know that i mountain bike. i have been doing so since march this year, and although i have greatly improved since my first attempts, i still consider myself a newbie. i met “my cycling buddies” at the urban assault mtb xc (cross country) race starting line… and the rest of the story will be finished some other time…

[2] i’ve decided to leave out actual names of places due to my inherent paranoia about being stalked or worse yet, bumping into someone who reads my blog… you never know who’s on the other side of the computer screen… i might like it! :p

[3] i am writing an honours paper at the moment… its draft is due 1 nov, and the final 1 dec… and i am a master procrastinator! so… you don’t need to feel too sorry for me, i am sorry enough for myself as it is! *sniff* it just means that i get to miss out on lots of fun until i have finished, and have to choose the little fun i do enjoy very carefully…

[4] we will ignore the fact that i am referring to real living guys as if they are objects for the moment

[5] if you click on “enter the official site” you’ll see me... i’m the one with the gas mask :D heheheheh...

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