chuckling in the morning...

i recently joined the obsidian jabber server, and was rather delighted to discover the administrator has a wicked sense of humour on two occasions... and since then i have been mulling over sharing them with the world. so, after obtaining his permission, i have published both admin messages below in chronological order. in actual fact, paul may identify with some of this...

Conversation with jabber.obsidian.co.za on 13/12/2006 00:30:26:
(00:30:26) jabber.obsidian.co.za: Well, that will teach me for poking a stick at the jabber server! Chaos, mayhem, destruction. My work here is done.

Will explain later, once things are working properly and my underpants are dry.

Warren
(serverslayer@jabber.obsidian.co.za)

[actually, it's ]
(02:08:43) jabber.obsidian.co.za: Right then...

Last night I decided to investigate an issue on the server that had nothing whatsoever to do with jabber. Imagine my surprise / horror / chagrin / underpants when the server died, taking her transports with her. The main server is up, along with two transports due to some serious duct-taping (during which no alt.hamsters were harmed, seduced or 'accidentally' fed Rohypnol.) Please be patient while I secure more hamsters ERR.... .duct tape..

Currently two transports are having library-version issues [MSN and AIM] - a deft rebuild of a package or two ought to set things straight.

Thanks for your patience and that LOVELY hamper of second-hand mens underwear some kind soul left on my door step... You guuuuuuuuys :) *sniff* I promised myself I would cry.....

I guess I'd better get back to the duct-taping.

Regards
Warren, slayer of Jabber


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(31/01/2007 21:54:44) jabber.obsidian.co.za: Greetings Jabberites......

As many of you must have noticed, our server was unavailable for approximately one day recently. I'd like to open this confessional with a small but important statement:

NOT MY FAULT!

Believe it or not, I was not in any way involved. I wasn't optimising, or upgrading, or experimenting in any way, shape or form - it was an issue with our leased line! There I've said it.

Be aware, however, that between our [until very recently] only telecoms company and South Africa's only power company, there may still be trials and tribulations ahead - this is Africa after all: Cables get stolen, migratory ostriches get caught in power lines and elephants routinely purloin large satellite dishes for their myserious 'Elephant Braai Area' skottel parties.

Sorry for the downtime - we're busy implementing preventative measure as I type:
1) We're painting all our cables to look like snakes.
2) We've ordered a battery of SOM (Surface to Ostrich) missile launchers.
3) We've confiscated the elephants tongs and spatulas. Let's see them skottel NOW! HAH!

So please be patient with us, Eskom and Telkom. We're doing our best!

Thanks
Warren

PS: For our foreign users:

Braai: Like a barbecue, only with more meat, beer and khaki safari suits.
Skottel: Like a braai, only you cook over gas, on something that looks like a flat-ish wok.
Tongs: The things you use to turn the meat on a braai.